Common Place

And here we are
at the common again;
the same excuse
all over the place.

Your lips
-A forbidden taste.
That i would love to hate;
but i can't.

And there are
too many people.
-Watching us

But i can only recognize
the familiar shape
of your lips against mine.

And so we are here
at the common again;
but you already left.

Leaving me behind
with the after taste of your mouth.

And a heart you've broken
way too many times.


(Inspired on 102 by The 1975)

Ways to Destroy Yourself

I want to destroy myself,
In the most beautiful ways.

Like painting a thousand pictures
With a bright magical sharp pen;
That is silver but draws red.

Fall in love with someone
I don't have any opportunity with.
-Spend one hundred nights
Crying for a unrequited love.

And then put my fingers down
My throat,
So i can get out all the butteflies in my stomach.
-Until i see come them out red.

I want to destroy myself,
Rip off all my limbs,
Cut all my parts,
Till i feel the epitome of pain.

So later i can
Rearrange myself.
                                                     
I want to tear my skin apart,
I want to re open all my scars;
Maybe that way they'll disappear finally

I want to cry,
Until my eyes are bloodshot.
- But didn't you do that
yesterday already?

I want to pull out my heart
From my chest,
Maybe that way i'll stop catching feelings, like a fool.

I want to destroy myself,
In the most painful ways.
So if get out alive
I won't be myself
but someone else.

Rootless

I was born
with no roots.

Like a stray kitten,
a cloud drifting by,
a kingdom without a king.

I’ve got nowhere
to go,
just running,
For a home sweet
no sweet home.

It caught me cold
what they could cut.
Surprised my roots
were still long;
What was left of
got cut off.

I am rootless.

Noise

I can feel it
when my neighbor dog barks,
when there’s thunder in the sky,
when there are birds by my window.

Can you hear it?
Can you hear how tangible it is?
Can you hear how it feels?

The wonder in the old dogs bark?
The rage in the sky?
The hope in the trees?

I can.

I can hear it
like I can feel the heat
of a fire
- Or the cold of ice.

I can hear it like I can feel
security
and I can hear it,
almost as though,
the noise is a gun
aimed at me.

Please pull the trigger.

If you never shoot
I’ll never know.

The depth of emotion
hidden behind the initial click
and the regret behind the final bang.

I want to feel the noise
I want to understand it.

I want to know how it feels
to have the noise all surrounding.
A shield or knife
- All protecting.

It’s buzzing in my ear,
it won’t stop.

I don’t mind.

I just want to imagine the noise,
when silence is all I hear.

Things i wanted to say but never said #1

And you're connected
i can see the little green dot
besides your name.

But i don't open you chart
and neither you open mine.
Despite of me wanting
to tell you all the things i can't
when i'm sober.

I want to tell you
how much you mean
to me.
How much i want
to be with you
and get to know you
better.
How important
you have become to me
in so short time.

But i don't open you chat
and you don't open mine.
So i'll just sit here
waiting for you
to change your mind.

lostmyhead

And you said
I’ve lost my head
can you see it?
can you see it?

You said
I’ve been gone for days,
but wasn’t Monday
just yesterday?
Wasn’t it?
wasn’t it?

And I said
I think I love you
won’t you see it?
won’t you see it?.

Love

‘‘Would you die for me?’’

Her voice sounds like the radio,
repeating the one question
everyone asks,
but no one
wants to answer to.

Because while everyone looks
around them,
they never look around the corner.

The grass is greener
on the other side,
right?.

‘‘You really wouldn’t?’’

Of course, not.

How could I take away
the one and only mystery
that you are yet to become?

How could I take away
the answer,
that everyone either wants to know
or refuses to believe exists?

‘‘What would you do?’’

I’d live for you.
I’d suffer your pains
and I’d make sure your eyes,
are always lit.

And I’ll cross anyone
who tries to blow you out.

Then she stands
- Content.

As though the words,
are all she needs to hear.
Despite the fact that,
they don’t mean a thing.

I can say
and I can speak.
But what can stop me
when I’m in a situation
and my sight goes blind,
all I can see is white
because it’s happening so fast
and there’s always a chance
that one day
I will have to live for her.

Or maybe one night
when the starlight is out of sight
even though we’re under the sky.
And maybe I’ll change my mind.

Types of pain

I’ve become addicted
to the simple things.

Like pouring myself coffee
- A little too hot.

Letting it roll over my tongue
and singe to my taste buds,
It’s my favourite kind of heat.

Just like the way you always leave
is my favourite type of pain.

You leave before I can get
attached
- Usually.

I think you left a little late
this time.
Because you stayed long enough,
for me to glue back my heart.
And you left as soon
as it started to dry.

But I like it.

I really do.
I like it more than when
I burn my tongue on coffee.
Or when my fingers bleed
from steel guitar strings.

I love it even more
than when I cannot breathe
when my body aches
and when my head is spinning
and all I can see
are your light eyes
from behind my closed eyes.

And I love it more,
than the moments when
I want to tear my heart out
because it’s beat it’s constant
and it won’t ever stop
and it gets louder and l o u d e r
as every second goes by
and it’s all that I can hear
and –

---

I put my hands to my head.
it should be swelling.

I’m insane.

The one thought I can think,

‘‘You’re my favourite kind of pain.’’

Lies

I told you not to blame me
for what I said when I was drunk.

You told me not blame you
when the stars in your eyes
became the stars in my sky.

But after all who was the one
who said you’d rather be with me
than with the one who loves you?